John 11

Instead of trusting with great faith and courage like Mary and Martha...I choose to fall when trying to stand on my own...even when I see Jesus standing, hand outstretched, watiting for me to take hold and rely fully on His strength in times of need.

I wrote this poem a couple months ago, and it still rings true!

fear. weakness. scared. afraid. light. darkness.

while strength & courage are viable options,

i continue to choose weakness

and fear.

strength requires courage, and

in the courage department --

i'm severely lacking.

i can put on a face that

will fool all in the crowd.

my words and my wit can get me out of

almost any somewhat risky mission.

it is not a question of willingness.

my soul longs for adventure,

but fears of failure.

courage is not the lack of fear,

but rather the willingness

to face your fears head on.

take a giant leap of faith and there you will find

your strength.

yet...all i choose is weakness.

i succumb to yet another fear.

fear of rejection, exile, gossip.

fear of being recognized, or noticed.

my fear creates in me a deep

pit

of weakness.

one that is filled to the brim

with lies whispered over

the years.

lies that have been trickling in.

like a venemous stream.

the enemy knows which words will sting.

and those words consume my soul.

breeding exactly the creatures

to fight off all courage and

strength.

i can choose strength or weakness.

courage or fear.

while strength & courage are viable options,

i continue to choose

the poison.

the latter.

the other.