Boredom and Busyness

These past couple weeks have been something of a blur.  Not because I've been so busy that I can't remember everything I've done or there's just too much to remember what order it goes in.  No, it's more like a blur of seeming nothingness.  Now, don't get me wrong, I did things.  I have work and youth group, and friends.  I just didn't have full-time work.  I had day after day off of work and my roommates both were still working or on trips.  Which means a lot of alone time.....alone time that an extrovert like myself doesn't always appreciate for what it is.

I tend toward constant busyness in my life, and when things slow down, I forget to rest, and rest well.  I tend to sit around and watch TV or stalk people on Facebook.  I've probably even stalked you once or twice.  If Facebook had a "Who's Stalking Me" button, I might even still waste time stalking my friends instead of actually talking to them.  I'm not complaining, don't get me wrong.  I enjoy time off!  I just don't always make good use of it.

So, since this time I didn't really make good use of my time off, I kind of felt like a dog who chases the same stick day after day.  Kind of like this guy:

http://robcares.com/2011/12/01/how-to-defeat-boredom-during-lengthy-hospital-stays

However, when I get busy again, I'm not only overjoyed, I'm also jealous of my former self and the amount of down time said former self had.  I always, every time, wish I had taken advantage of my down time a bit better.  That's my life right now.  Busy.  And wishing I had taken time to truly rest well and relax over my couple weeks off. 

Currently, my days have filled up to the brim with barely any breathing room.  I have meetings, summer youth programs, coffee dates, pedicures (woot!), weddings, and work days for church to attend, lead, or just simply enjoy.  I love all of these things, and it's the times of busyness like this that I truly live for!  All this time out of the house and with people fuels me to the point of not even being tired at the end of the day!  It's fantastic, and it's exhausting after a while.  Again, I have to learn to rest well.  Especially since these next couple weeks are going to feel like I'm running, from or to what I do not know, but I'm running, and I'm dropping papers, and I'm holding tightly to everything in my arms and yet....I still can't do it on my own.  I sort of feel like a crazy person at times, and I probably look kind of like this gal:

http://pastorron7.wordpress.com/2011/12/29/busy-ness/

Yep.  I probably look that crazy and silly at times.  There are probably multiple people around me at any given moment of my busyness saying "That girl needs to take a deep breath, and let us help her."  I don't like help.  I like to do things on my own.  I like to be self-sufficient.  I know this about myself, but I also know that I cannot be self-sufficient and independent in my life.  I need others around me to offer help and I need to be humble enough to accept that help.

Alright, so two things came up in this post that I thing I should clarify.  Rest well, and accept help.  

Let's start with rest well.....

Exodus 33:14   "And He said, 'My presence shall go with you, and I will give you rest.'"

     In the surrounding verse, Moses is going to the Lord and asking for God's assurance that He will be with them and go with them.  Moses is inquiring about who will be sent with him to lead the people, and you can almost feel a sense of anxiety in the words of Moses.  Verse 14 is the response that God gives.  "My presence shall go with you, and I will give you rest."  How beautiful!  Just the presence of the Lord can give us rest!  Yet, this is such a difficult thing to remember.  How often I go to other things and people....good things and good friends....for the rest I should be seeking from God.  I think that TV shows, or good conversations (which are things that God has certainly blessed me with, but that I continue to put as idols in my life rather than blessings from God) will give me rest, when really it is only God's presence that can do such a thing.

Matthew 11:28-30    "Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.  Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart; and you shall find rest for your souls.  For My yoke is easy, and My load is light."
     Again, we see that the only way to receive rest is through God.  In this verse specifically, through Christ.  Jesus is saying to all that who ever will come to Him will be given rest.  However, we also see that to receive this rest we must exchange a yoke.  Those who are "weary and heavy-laden" are carrying a yoke that is from Christ, however, when they (we!) come to Christ we are given a light yoke.  We are given the assistance of our eternal savior and Lord.  He gives us rest from our previous lives and yokes.  He takes our sin and burdens upon Himself and we take His yoke upon ourselves.  We choose to find rest in Him, but it is not going to be a cake walk life.  It is going to be a life of obedience and challenges.  Every one chooses their yoke, and I need to be asking myself which yoke I'd like to choose.  Which idols do I need to give up to follow Christ?  Which areas of "rest" aren't actually helpful, and which of those do I need to replace with time with God?  

Now, let's move on to accept help....

I'm going to continue to use the Matthew 11:28-30 passage.  We see in this passage that Christ comes along side us and helps us in our burdens.  He takes that burden onto Himself and offers us help.  I often don't want help, and accepted any kind of help is quite difficult for me.  However, when I daily allow Christ to take more and more of the lead and more and more of my burdens, I feel the weight lifting, and I feel Christ's yoke come upon my shoulders.  I feel the joy that I so desire, even through tougher days.  I feel the love of Christ more often as I continue to give away my control to Him.  

Now, when I talk about accepting help, I'm not just talking about accepting help from Christ, though, obviously, that is a HUGE part of walking with Him.  I'm also talking about accepting help from other people.  When I allow others to come along side me, I'm allowing myself to experience help in a way that is exemplary of Christ's help.  I'm allowing others to bless me.  I'm allowing myself to be humbled.  It takes work, but it's worth it to let others help me out.  It's completely worth it to let others in my heart, so I can experience a Gospel community and friendship.