All Things

If You make all things work together

for my good,

why does it hurt so much?

Why must I feel pain that runs so deep?

Piercing layer by layer like a knife.

They say

"sticks and stones may break

my bones, but words can never hurt me."

Yet it's words that crush me

and destroy me.

It's the sly words from others that break me

& pierce my heart.

Yet I am reminded that all things

work together for my good.

The Lord can use words to heal

wounds inflicted by words.

The power we hold to lift up or tear down

with one seemingly meaningless comment

is far beyond my understanding.

One's words - our words -

can cause such downfall.

They can slice so deep

that it may never truly heal.

Our words leave scars on peoples' lives.

Yet, we are given the choice to not

create those scars.

We are given strength from God

to lift others up with the very thing

that once tore them down.

The Lord can use words to heal

wounds inflicted by words.

So this pain that pierces each layer

of my being is slowly being healed.

I am strengthened and emboldened,

I am taught perseverance,

and am learning each day

what trusting God truly looks like.

Hope is birthed from past trials,

and faith is strong in my soul.

All because you make all things

work together for my good.

You are Creator, Create Anew

I don't want to be apathetic in worship, prayer, or everyday life! If the Lord is a Creator, then I pray for Him to create something new each moment of each day whether that be in worship, prayer, or every day events. I wish to experience Him anew each day.

After reading through Revelation chapter 4, and after listening to Francis Chan speak on Crazy Love I've been feeling led to read through Revelation chapter 4 whenever I approach the throne of God; in prayer or worship. I don't want to forget how truly magnificent the God is whom I approach!

You are Creator, Create anew

I want to experience You

in this time of prayer,

Lord work in me.

Stretch my heart beyond what

I consider comfortable.

Mold my mind; my thoughts

so I can fully see you

regardless of my struggle to

comprehend.

My soul longs for something

new in this time or worship!

Reveal Your Glory to me!

Help me experience your Love,

and Power, and Glory

in new ways this night.

I long to encounter You!

You are Creator, Create anew

each time I approach Your throne.

Help me feel, breathe, see, taste

the God of Revelation!

Though I may not fully understand You,

I want to hear Your voice

like rushing water!

Let my entire being scream

in adoration

"Holy, holy, holy, is the

Lord God Almighty,

who was, and is, and is to come."

When I approach Your throne,

remind me of Your Greatness.

Remind me of Your Power.

Let me not forget

what a great honor it is

to approach You.

An honor I don't deserve nor

can ever earn.

I long to experience You anew.

You are Creator, Create anew.

Reckless Spendthrift of Grace

In The Prodigal God Timothy Keller tells us in the introduction "The word 'prodigal' does not mean 'wayward' but, according to Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary, 'recklessly spendthrift.' It means to spend until you have nothing left. (Yes, I barely got into the book and it changed my understanding of the parable of The Prodigal Son and God Himself!) When I think of the word 'prodigal' using that meaning and place it in front of 'God' I gain a whole new understanding His gift of Grace! God spends all of his Grace on undeserving sinners, knowing that we will continue to fall short of His Glory again and again, but He gives all that He has for us. The Lord recklessly spends until He has nothing left to spend...except that the Lord's well of Grace never runs dry. So He continues to give and give and give to those who believe, regardless of whether we have earned it or not!

In light of God's free gift of Grace and His recklessly spendthrift attitude about Grace, shouldn't we strive to be the same? I can't help but think that I should pray for a more recklessly spendthrift heart in regards to care, compassion, grace, mercy.... I should be striving to be more like Jesus, and if that means I have to be recklessly compassionate to those around me, then let it be so!

Reckless Spendthrift

Reckless spendthrift.

What a radical thought,

in terms of grace.

Let me take a page from

Your Book.

Let me recklessly give my love,

compassion & mercy to those

around me.

After all, that's what You ask of me.

I no longer wish to pass by

stranger without so much as

a kind smile.

I want to change this world by

being so recklessly compassionate

to my neighbors.

Let me be but a raindrop in

Your life-giving river,

so others will feel & see.

I wish to lose track of my

selfishness.

Focusing on the severe needs

of others,

rather than the superficial wants

which consume me.

Let each bump in the road &

pothole in my path be

an opportunity.

No longer shall I swerve around

or take an alternate route.

Let me spend recklessly

the Love and Compassion

You have taught me by example.

Prayer and Petition

Lord I need You in this place

Your presence,

Your glory,

Your fame.

Bring it to this room, to this soul!

Your Grace pours down on my head

it covers me so wholly, I can't comprehend.

I petition your presence in this place.

Your Awesome Power

I will not hide from.

I will find joy in you.

Lord I ask for You tonight.

Encompass me with

Your arms,

Renew a burning fire of

Passion in my soul!

A fire that only You can control.

A fire that will overtake this world.

Lord bring that Fire to this place!

Engulf me Lord

day after day!

Show me more of You

more of Your Love & Power.

Lord cover me, drown me, engulf me

in all that You are.

Lord I cast away my

sins & pride & selfishness.

I give them to You,

so You may enter this place.

So You may enter this soul.

Transform me with Your presence.

Transform this soul, this room,

with Your Righteousness.

Bury me & let yourself

shine through.

I need more of You and so much less of me.

Bury my selfish desires deep Lord!

Only You can deliver me from myself,

Lord be here with me tonight

So I may truly see You,

experience You,

be engulfed by You.

So I may know my One True Love

more dearly.

Lord, bring Your presence to this place!

John 11

Instead of trusting with great faith and courage like Mary and Martha...I choose to fall when trying to stand on my own...even when I see Jesus standing, hand outstretched, watiting for me to take hold and rely fully on His strength in times of need.

I wrote this poem a couple months ago, and it still rings true!

fear. weakness. scared. afraid. light. darkness.

while strength & courage are viable options,

i continue to choose weakness

and fear.

strength requires courage, and

in the courage department --

i'm severely lacking.

i can put on a face that

will fool all in the crowd.

my words and my wit can get me out of

almost any somewhat risky mission.

it is not a question of willingness.

my soul longs for adventure,

but fears of failure.

courage is not the lack of fear,

but rather the willingness

to face your fears head on.

take a giant leap of faith and there you will find

your strength.

yet...all i choose is weakness.

i succumb to yet another fear.

fear of rejection, exile, gossip.

fear of being recognized, or noticed.

my fear creates in me a deep

pit

of weakness.

one that is filled to the brim

with lies whispered over

the years.

lies that have been trickling in.

like a venemous stream.

the enemy knows which words will sting.

and those words consume my soul.

breeding exactly the creatures

to fight off all courage and

strength.

i can choose strength or weakness.

courage or fear.

while strength & courage are viable options,

i continue to choose

the poison.

the latter.

the other.

Jesus desires you

Lately the Lord has been speaking to me by prompting the people in my life to share YouTube clips of slam poetry, sermons, songs, etc with me. These videos have always, every single time, hit a soft spot in my heart; a place where the Lord has been trying to reach me but I've been hesitant to give over complete control.

"I Will Wait For You" talks about not giving your heart away to just anyone, but instead wholly seeking the Lord for comfort and companionship. God is preparing someone for each and every one of us, and His timing will always be perfect; so we just have to wait for that one whom God has prepared for us.

"Jesus Wants the Rose" reminds us that no matter how much we mess up our lives or how much sin we choose to partake in, Jesus wants us! Jesus wants us to bring our broken, ragged, dirty selves wholly to Him for redemption and salvation. Jesus loves us in the midst of our sin and our deceit, and continues to loves us as we give our lives over to Him. This video and the message of it is so powerful, and brings tears to my eyes every time I remember it! I am so undeserving of the love God has for me, yet it is heaped upon me each and every moment of my life! How glorious is the Lord that created me!